In September 2020 my post was titled, “Getting Through The Holidays without Losing your Mind and your Patience”. We are now approaching the holiday season again and I think some of the information bears repeating.
Here are a few things I hope you will keep in mind during this always stressful season:
The first absolute MUST is that you take care of yourself!
If you are new to the caregiving job you will feel overwhelmed and overworked when holiday planning and shopping mixes in with your daily activities which now include taking care of someone. SO….please consider changing from “the way you’ve always done things” to something more simple. Perhaps you can let someone else host the family Thanksgiving Dinner….you can contribute by bringing your special sweet potato casserole and by just being there.
You’ll no doubt want to include your loved one in family activities but keep their comfort in mind when you make plans that include them. For example, if your loved one is living in a facility you need to consider their comfort level if you take them out; you’ll also want to consider how they will react to being in a group of people who they possibly won’t recognize. Is the noise likely to bother them? How about their need to go to the bathroom? Is there a place where they can rest if they get tired? And, will they need help eating?
Even if you are bringing your loved one into your home for holiday festivities you will need to consider all these things in addition to planning who will take care of them when you are busy in the kitchen, etc?
The second absolute MUST is that you “Accept help from others”
Scale down your celebrations and accept offers of help from family and friends. Hire someone to help with house cleaning. This all comes under the heading of taking care of yourself.
Every one of my five “Caregiver’s Rules” will help you to get through the holidays with less stress and strain. Please review these rules before you start worrying about how to make it through the next couple of months while keeping your sanity and your health.
- “Always watch my tone of voice, keeping it friendly so that I don’t appear to be bossy, critical, or harsh.”
- “Accept the challenge/problem that has presented itself and then look for, and find, a workable solution.”
- “Keep life as simple as possible while adjusting to the changes around me.”
- “Look for, find, and savor the good moments.”
- “Live in the Moment!”
Of course the holidays will be difficult! After all, your loved one has changed with the disease they bear and you have changed along with them. One of the most important things you can do is to accept these changes and, following Rule #2, change your thinking and actions to accommodate the generally dynamic alterations in your life.
With that being said, I ‘ll add a new Caregivers Rule which is:
“Make the most of every situation and of every day because tomorrow is not guaranteed.”
Regardless of whether you are a new caregiver of someone who has been doing it for a while you may want to go back and review my September 6, 2020 post titled, “Getting Through The Holidays without losing your mind and your patience.”
Bless you all!
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