Does a Broken Heart Ever Heal?

How many times in our lives do we feel like our heart is breaking?

You may have felt like your heart was breaking when your teen aged boyfriend broke up with you, or maybe when your parents wouldn’t let you go to that party that everyone else was attending. In addition, you can probably think of other times when you felt heartbroken but, in general, that feeling soon passed and whatever caused the feeling was forgotten. There was no lasting effect from that feeling and life continued on.

Exactly what is a “Broken Heart”?

The definition is “a state of extreme grief or sorrow, typically caused by the death of a loved one or the ending of a romantic relationship”.

It is actually a condition with symptoms that may feel like a heart attack, like chest pain and shortness of breath but it’s actually caused by going through an emotionally stressful event and not by clogged arteries.

What to do when your heart is broken?

Although it’s a terrible feeling that seems like it will never go away and once it sets in, it can crush you like a boulder. But have faith that if will get better with time. Be good to yourself, make new friends, get a new cool haircut, or buy some new clothes. Do something that makes you feel happy even if it’s only for a short time. And something I’ve found helpful is talking about my feelings.

I loved my husband for over 40 years and, even though he’s been gone for two years, I still love him and I miss him with every fiber of my being. But that hasn’t kept me from moving forward. I have many friends, go to my knitting group, my writing group and my art class. I play cards once a month and I am generally busy with my crafts and my many interests.

My heart was broken when he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. It cracked even more when I realized that I could no longer keep him at home and then it just opened wide the day I had to place him in a care facility. The pain and anxiety of my battered heart never went away, it just dulled after a while.

But then, on the day that he took his last breath and I realized that he was gone….that I would never again get to hear his big laugh and look at the face that I had loved so long and so well, my heart shattered and I was totally lost in the sadness and pain.

So, does a broken heart ever heal…..I don’t think it heals completely. I can hear a song that he liked, or see something that he would have enjoyed, and I am overwhelmed with a renewed feeling of grief.

Have I moved forward? Yes, I think he would have wanted me to do that. Does my heart ache? Yes and I think it will always ache even though I am moving forward without him.