You Can Do This!

It’s December 24th, Christmas Eve day. Although you’ve gone through the motions and would like to pretend this will be a normal Christmas, you know in your heart of hearts that kind of holiday just isn’t possible now. So what do you do? You put on your game face and somehow you will get through today, tomorrow and the days after that.

Despite feeling sad, lonely and even somewhat resentful, you accept the truth that the holiday seasons of previous years are no longer possible for you and the loved one that you are caring for now. The years of family gatherings, family dinners, gifts and laughter won’t happen this year.

If you have visitors come to your home over the holidays, you need to make sure that your loved one is kept comfortable and if able, can participate in conversations or activities. Although you may enjoy having guests, remember that the person you are caring for comes first and your time and attention must be directed mainly to him/her.

Please pay close attention to his/her comfort and remove them from the situation if you sense they are becoming agitated or confused. They may just need to get to a quiet place.

All this will no doubt put additional strain on you and you may also begin to feel agitated or even upset. Holidays are difficult when you are in the position of taking care of someone. So how do you handle the additional stress of holidays?

Each of us handles stress in different ways….you may choose to not participate in holiday celebrations or you may limit your activities and keep as close to your regular schedule as possible.

Regardless of how much you choose to participate in holiday events, you will have several negative feelings during this time of the year. So when you feel alone, lonely, sad, concerned, irritated, hopeless and resentful or angry, please give yourself some time to sit quietly and maybe even cry a little. Pray for strength and courage. Don’t show your frustrations to your loved one, put on a happy face and go about your day.

Just know that you are important in someone else’s world and also know that what you can do for them is to ensure their remaining days are comfortable and happy and that they are kept safe. Although you will still have feelings that are hard to deal with, you can also feel proud that you are giving another person security and comfort.

My husband had Alzheimer’s and eventually was at a point where he had lost most of his memories but he never forgot me! I was overjoyed knowing that he still knew who I was and that he loved me. So you see, there are some good, or even happy, feelings that are caused by your knowing that the person you loved is still there, inside the person you are now caring for.

Have faith not only throughout the holidays but every day….faith that YOU CAN DO THIS!