Something New Every Day

Yes, every day brings its own surprises, some good ones, some funny moments, and then, usually, some that bring a new challenge and creates the need for some “out of the box” thinking. Things are different for me now and generally not adaptable to old ways of doing things; creative solutions are often called for.

On any given day I will probably feel one or more of the following:

• Hurt
• Angry
• Frustrated
• Helpless
• Alone/Lonely
• Incompetent
• Inadequate
• Lost
• Sad
• Hopeful
• Exhausted

I think the hurts, the sadness, and the frustrations come with the territory….dealing with unexpected changes will absolutely cause these feelings plus others that I haven’t listed here. Seeing your loved one suffer the ravages of disease is hard and will of course affect your feelings. How we choose to deal with our feelings will often offer a path to conquering the changes in, and around, us.

I found myself using a technique I had learned while still working. In my job I dealt with a management consultant that was not only a skilled leadership development specialist but also someone that was very wise to human ways.

One of the important lessons learned from him was what he called, “I” messages. That simply means that instead of accusing another person (or a situation) of a wrong doing that affected you in some way, you would instead relate it to your feelings.

For example when someone has said something that was hurtful or damaging to you, instead of saying something like, “I don’t like it when you say things like that to me”, you would confront the issue by saying, “I feel hurt when you make comments like that.” You are sending an “I” message by stating how you feel.

Now, with that being said, I want to again say that this blog is not about the changes that are occurring in my life right now but rather about HOW I FEEL and HOW I REACT to these changes. By sharing my feelings with you in these posts, I am sending an “I” message.

Thankfully I have family and friends to turn to but I can also turn to these posts as a way to send my “I” messages.